Cluster Flurry

So... remember when I told y'all that shit would get unreal down here when it snowed. Welp, as usual, I get an A+ for being spot on.

Because right now, the only thing that accurately depicts our state's state of being is this:

Or, this:

When I say that 2 inches of snow caused mass panic and snarled traffic in an apocalyptic way, I'm not playing, yo. Know how I know this? Compare the two pictures. One is from the actual snow storm. The other is a scene from the zombie Armageddon  drama, The Walking Dead.

Yeah. Completely impossible to tell them apart, except for that whole dude on a horse bit. That's a dead giveaway. (Dead was a pun. Get it? If not, screw you.)

So, upon seeing the first sign of snowflakes, all 7 million people in the metropolitan area of Atlanta immediately left their school, their work, their grocery shopping, their whatever and headed home. At. The. Exact. Same. Time.

Can you envision 7 million people on the road at the same time??


Well, it looks a little like this:

Or this:

People were told not to go on the roads. Oh, my, how they were told:

Do you SEE what that screen says?

"DON'T GET ON JOHNSON FERRY. SERIOUSLY. DON'T."

That's how bad the traffic was.  Basically, the message was this:

 And, honestly, it's not like the message was unwarranted. The Atlanta Police responded to nearly 1,000 accidents. Lucky children spent the night at their schools, while the less fortunate of their classmates got to sleep the night away on school buses that had ran out of gas waiting in traffic. The congestion was so bad that a woman actually delivered her baby on the Interstate. And don't think that public transportation solved anything. Somehow, during this snow storm, the local rail system, MARTA, caught fire, forcing passengers to evacuate into the snowy outdoors.

My favorite image of the whole incident, though, is this one:

Followed by this one:

Apparently the car fishtailed, hit a fire hydrant, sat there while the water poured from the pump, and a sinkhole opened right beneath the driver and his car. Epic.

So, I thought that snow in the South was going to be like this:

In reality, it's like this: