Southern Hospitality

Ok, so last week's Epic Cluster Flurry was hilarious.

Two inches of snow and the whole Atlanta metro area went bananas. Babies entered the world, only to be stranded on the side of the road with every other schmuck. Stuck in the Granddaddy of traffic jams, people chose to abandon their cars and hoof it the 10 miles or so to their homes. The local transit train system caught afire, and cars literally sank into the ground, presumably never to emerge again. 

See? I wasn't lying. No hyperbole here, y'all. 

As a born and corn-fed Yankee, a few giggles were in order. To me, when I say, "We got snow," I'm usually referring to something like this: 

It ain't snow until you've hauled ass up a drift to scoop snow off your roof. No ladders required, folks.

The word "Snowmaggedon" cannot be evoked unless a) you had to shovel yourself out of your door, b) you are concerned about your roof collapsing, and c) the temperature is sitting around "if you step outside, your eyes will literally fuse together from frost." That's usually somewhere around the -20F range in Iowa, where I've endured all of the above. 

And when somebody says that he/she got stuck in traffic because of the snow, I anticipate this sort of scene: 

Not this: 

I admit I had a few laughs at Atlanta's expense... until I realized that these Southerners are quite prickly when it comes to their snow, and that mocking them about their city's lack of infrastructure and inability to handle even the smallest of dustings is akin to saying that someone's Nana's grits taste like gravel. In short: Them's fighting words.

So, now I'm feeling poorly. 

Just awful.

Downright miserable.

I ridiculed my new state of residence, when a lot of things about the situation were, in fact, not funny. (See second paragraph about BABIES BEING BORN ON THE HIGHWAY!)

So, as a peace offering, I am providing a link to this sweet article: How Atlanta Really Isn't So Bad

It chronicles how Atlantians aren't actually just asshats who can't drive (although, I'm just saying... you know what. No. This is a peace offering. A peace offering!) in snow. Instead, they're some pretty cool peeps who put their life on hold to help others.

For example, neighbors of the local backlogged interstates bundled up and walked along the lines of gridlocked commuters, offering them hot chocolate, cookies, water, aspirin, gas, blankets, and other goodies.

One guy stayed in one particularly slippery spot just so he could help push every single car who fell prey to the persnickity area. Some other dude bought and carried numerous bags of salt and salted one whole street by himself. Another fella just walked down the street in front of his house, inviting in stranded strangers. That guy might have forgotten to tell his wife his plans, so that will probably be an awkward conversation later. 

Corporations and politicians also proved they have some semblance of a heart. Chick-fil-A fed people free of charge, the Fairfield Inn allowed people to camp in their lobby (because all the rooms were full). Kroger prepared all the food they had in stock in their deli and fed the people who were sleeping in the aisles. And, yes, people, even the local legislators got in on the action, as the local Congressmen and Congresswomen opened their offices at the Capitol and let people sleep on their couches and their floors.

Don't get me wrong. All this generosity and selflessness was just plain ol' fashioned Southern hospitality at it's best. No doubt that.

But, keep in mind, this is also the city where I was walking down the street and some woman hollered at me from her car. I walked over, thinking she wanted directions. Instead, she asked me if I saw a trash can. When I said that I indeed did not, she handed me a plastic plate still half full of food and said, "Here, honey, please be a dear and throw this away for me," and then drove off.

Ah, Southern hospitality.