Best Mac & Cheese EVAH

Alright, Internet. Here it is: a blog post about one of my more enjoyable hobbies (aside from gaming, Dungeons&Dragons, and playing Tiny Death Star on my phone.)

Those that know me know that I LOVE to cook. I don't just want to go on a date with cooking. I don't just want to Facebook creep cooking. I don't just want to take pictures of cooking from a tree outside of cooking's kitchen window. (Okay... that just got oddly dark.) My point is just that I LOVE to cook, and I'd gladly take cooking as my life partner and have little sausage and biscuit babies. And then I'd eat my young. (There we go with the dark stuff again.)

Again, the point, I really love cooking, just as much as I love my cooking spirit guide...

My Spirit Guide

I wanted to start my first cooking post off with something fantastic.  Something like a Pâté de Campagne or a duck leg confit....

"Don't start with something so intimidating!" - Wife

"Intimidating?  The hell you say! Don't you mean impressive?" - Me

"You're not Julia Child!" - Wife
"No, I'm Escoffier, the father of modern French cooking." - Me
"The hell YOU say. You need to start with something more simple. Something from a common place that everybody knows." - Wife

"What?  Like a recipe from the French Laundry?" - Me

"No! From Pinterest!" - Wife

So, my Internet friends, I present you with a modified version of a delicious dish we found on Pinterest.  It actually was on this fine person's blog, and it IS delicious.   However, my wife and I have an intense pallet (no matter the amount of garlic in a recipe, we multiply it by 10), so I present you with my version of this fantastic dish.

Stuff You Need

• 1 Tbsp vegetable oil
• 1 lb dried rigatoni
• 1 quart heavy cream (OMG I KNOW)
• 4 Tbsp chopped fresh rosemary (The fresh is important.  If you use shitty, dried stuff you may need more, and you may also cry, because you have done a very, very bad thing. )
• 3-4 cloves of fresh garlic, crushed
• 8 ounces feta (or goat cheese, if you prefer)
• 2 Strips of Bacon, crisp and chopped
• 2 C shredded roasted chicken
• Salt & Pepper

Stuff You Need To-Do

1. Cook that pasta in salt water.  Don't forget to salt the water, and don't lie to me about it.  Throw the oil into that water as well.
2. Pull out an OMG huge sauce pan.  Pour the cream into that pan, and heat it on medium heat.  Throw in the rosemary and garlic, and bring all of this to simmer until it reduces by half.  This may take a while, but don't look away.  If this boils over it will be a huge mess.
3. Throw in bacon, feta, and chicken, and continue stirring until the cream sauce gets thick.
4. Drain the pasta, and toss everything together.  Serve in bowls with a little fresh rosemary on top. 
5. Eat, and try not to worry about your heart slowing down.

Stuff You Need To Know About When I Last Made This

We were in the Shendoah Valley of Virginia at my father's second home. It looks like this. Yeah, we hate rich people, too. The proletariat will rise again.

My father's "vacation/retirement" estate, which he named "Woodfall."

We got the chicken fresh from the man I call Chicken Jesus, also known by his real name, Joel Salatin. This guy has been featured in Michael Pollin's books, such as "The Omnivore's Dilemma," and he was showcased in the documentary, "Food, Inc." He is also the apple of my recently widowed grandmother-in-law's eye. So, when the wife learned that Salatin's farm, Polyface Farm, was only a matter of miles away, she HAD to go, at least for her grandmother's sake.

Entrance to Chicken Jesus' farm

One view of Chicken Jesus' farm

She came back with free range chicken that cost $14 per pound. I was assured that said chicken was named Steve, was given daily back massages, had high self-esteem, took painting classes, participated in t'ai chi, and had a high sense of self-body image. Here is Steve in the bag.

Hello, Steve.

Now here he is in the pan.

So long, Steve

Now here he is in the bowl.

Thank you, Steve, and thank you, Chicken Jesus. It was delicious.